Seasons fleeting, seasons changing

  Last I wrote to you, dear reader, was in the closing of August. Much has changed since then, in both good ways and bad. 

  As I've said on countless occasions, time slips away from me in a whirlwind if I allow it. Just now, I've blinked and it's almost December. Seasons have changed both on Mother Earth and in my life; life has thrown many curve balls my way, and it's been a roller coaster of highs and lows. 

  Over the last few months, several people very close to me have exited my life. While I will document it here and acknowledge its happening, I will not use names or explicitly describe who they were to the public, for their sake and my own. I also don't want to turn this blog post into any more of "woe is me" type entry more than needed, so I'll summarize:  

  Two of the people who left were major parts of my life's story, and tore parts of my own heart with them as they went. With one of them, although we cared for one another very deeply, it was clear it was the best option, despite the pain it caused us both. It was a sacrifice for the better. It was very hard to deal with, but I took comfort in knowing it was the right choice; there was no question about it. The other one...well, it was a complete plot twist (to me, anyway), and the shock of it combined with the person's painfully blunt treatment regarding their exit struck me in the back like a stake.  

  Either one would have been incredibly painful, but both of them at once was overwhelming.  In fact, without the love and support I was shown by certain people, I don't think I would have been able to handle it. I spiraled down into a depressive episode for quite awhile. I turned into a recluse to everybody besides my very closest loved ones, and I was very distant to the majority of them as well. I managed to grasp positive energy long enough to take some photos, and tried my best to keep my head up, but it was incredibly difficult. Certain loved ones in particular gave me little pushes to jump on any creative sparks I got during the episode, and I'm very thankful for that. 

 My best friend, Orion, has also being going through a ton of personal issues on his side. Our issues were not related to each other, but since we're very in-sync, it was hard to feel the other one suffering and know there was nothing we could do to help. However, on the other hand, it really helped us both when the other started to get their respective situations under control a bit.  It wasn't surprising that we both had breakthroughs, after extremely low points, at nearly exactly the same time. We're helping each other deal with whatever we can, even if it's just offering moral support. On a happier note, we hope to get together and collaborate again soon! We hope to have some overlapping free time soon after New Years. I look forward to that very much.  :)

  Besides the two huge losses, a few other friends have faded from my life. I'd like to thank one in particular for enabling me art-wise, giving me the push that I needed to get where I am today. Even though I miss particular individuals, I understand that when one door closes, others open, it's the way of the Universe. 

  There are reasons particular people enter my life, and sometimes they reach a point where their time in it is complete, so they must leave me and continue their own story (and vice versa). Some people are meant to stay with me until the end of the book, and some aren't even devoted a whole chapter, but they're all important, even if their mark in my story is only a sentence in length. I would like to thank each of them, for the good memories, the things they've taught me, and how they've helped me grow as a person. They've all helped me turn the pages in my story, especially the two I miss the most; those two have forced me onwards from a chapter where I was "stuck".  I was comfortable there, but I accept that I cannot dwell in the past; I must keep up with life and accept change to become the best me that I can be. 

  Of course, I want to give a huge thanks to those who have stayed by my side this long. My friends, my family, my loved ones. You make my life worth living, and I hope that you know how much I care about you. I have many who touch my heart every day, more than they know, and I am sincerely thankful for every single one. :) You know who are you, and that I love you. Thank you all for your love and friendship!


Please stay tuned, as the next entries will be of happier natures.

Love,

Queen Werandra

PS: Happy birthday to Orion! :D