Hello, readers! :) Recently, someone very dear to me asked my views regarding the difference between "family" and "relatives". I've always subconsciously known it in my own mind, but when he asked, it really made me think about it- enough to put it into words.
Take "relatives" in this sense meaning those to whom you are directly related by blood, and/or related to marriage. Here's the short version:
"Family" doesn't always equal relatives.
"Relative" doesn't always equal family.
As stated prior: the word "relative" applies to people that are related by blood, or people marrying those related to you by blood. The word "family" applies to those you truly love. Not just loving them as a person, but loving them personally. The ones you truly care about. The ones that love you back, and will always truly be there to support you no matter what. You might live in the same house with them, or live oceans away from each other. You might be directly related (parent or sibling), or you might be an entirely different race from an entirely different part of the world. Love knows no boundaries.
Now comes the sad part: "relative" does not automatically equal "family", either. Some people may disagree, and it's fine to have that opinion, but the word "family" is very, very special and holds deeper meaning to me. It's very common for someone to have a blood relative who they don't consider "family", and that's totally okay. Family is a very strong word to me; it's a title that has to be earned by love, respect, and support; someone just happening to be blood related or marrying into the circle of your relatives doesn't gain this privilege faster than anyone else, especially if that person is toxic.
Here are a few possible examples of relatives ≠ family:
There's the neutral-good:
"We're on good/okay terms, but I don't know them too well/we're not close"
The true neutral:
"I don't know so-and-so at all, and thus have no opinion of them"
The neutral-bad:
"I don't really like so-and-so, but tolerate them at gatherings"
And there's the just plain bad:
"I don't want so-and-so anywhere near my house; they're dead to me"
Of course, there is a lot of grey area in between the examples; every person's personal view of who and what, who is and isn't, and every relationship, is different. Some may even swing between various stages of bond. Things can change, and they do.
✯✯✯
As much as I dislike negative feelings and negative energy, sometimes there's just no way to avoid it. There will always be people you don't like, and people that don't like you, no matter how wonderful and loving you may be. Accepting this is part of life.
You are under no obligation to socialize with, interact with, or give time of day to anybody who treats you poorly or doesn't respect you, solely because you happen to be related to them. Some toxic people assume they're entitled to behave less than kindly to their relatives and expect them to be okay with it and put up with their abuse because they can later hide behind "Oh but we're FAMILY!". No. No, no, no. Nobody is entitled to a place in your life until you give them one, and if someone isn't treating you respectfully, makes you unhappy, or is generally toxic, you are fully within your rights to limit or cease contact with that person, regardless of what society or "the rest of the family" thinks.
You are under no obligation to socialize with, interact with, or give time of day to anybody who treats you poorly or doesn't respect you, solely because you happen to be related to them. Some toxic people assume they're entitled to behave less than kindly to their relatives and expect them to be okay with it and put up with their abuse because they can later hide behind "Oh but we're FAMILY!". No. No, no, no. Nobody is entitled to a place in your life until you give them one, and if someone isn't treating you respectfully, makes you unhappy, or is generally toxic, you are fully within your rights to limit or cease contact with that person, regardless of what society or "the rest of the family" thinks.
That's the best part about true family:
As much as things may change, they'll always be there for you and love you no matter what.
-Queen Werandra
Let's Talk About: "Family" vs "Relatives" (Part I)
Reviewed by WerandRa
on
9:30 PM
Rating:
Reviewed by WerandRa
on
9:30 PM
Rating:
Sounds like my "family". For a few, they're "family" only because we happen to be related. No interest what-so-ever in what anyone else is doing, non-existent communication, and so on.
ReplyDeleteSlinky is my family! :)
Delete